Smiley Miley

Really Did That Actually Happen, Did I Really Make Through 3 Rounds Of Auditioning, I can’t believe how far I’ve gotten, but we know I’m just gonna have to try again next year (: at least I tried. In other news I’m much stronger than I was in 2011 my friends are so special to me, they have helped me get through so much and helped build the confidence I needed to go onto the xfactor (:

For once I am happy, I have my best friend back, I have so much going for me right now, I have the Xfactor auditions soon (: I have my adulthood to look forward, my childhood might of been shit, but my adulthood will be amazing, I will eventually meet Miley Cyrus. (I can’t wait for that day) I will meet my future wife (: I will always remain friends with Malu And Lily no matter what happens (: I will have my best friends to help me through any tough times (:

I know it’s the end of us, I know we must go our sperate ways but how did it all come down to this, I know I’m annoying sometimes but you didn’t even give me a reason why I had to lose you, maybe it’s not the end of us, maybe we’ll be friends again someday.

Could I have your attention for 5 minutes, I know I’ve annoyed most of you, I know I’ve creeped some of you out, I know I’ve done wrong, I’ve hurt people, but I never mean too, honestly I’ve been so stupid, I don’t know how many of you hate me, or don’t like me at the moment, but I will change I promise I will become a better person, I know it will take time to get trust back from you guys, I don’t know if that’s possible.

I miss you so much, I miss us, I miss the convo’s we used to have now it’s not the same anymore, it’s getting harder for me everyday but I know one day, you’ll help me through this, sometimes I cry, sometimes I cry to sleep, the other night I was awake till 5 just thinking of us and our amazing convo’s, I’m going on the Xfactor (: yay I’m singing Say Yes, idk..how its gonna go, but I can only hope for the best (: I really want this, it would be something special for me.

Seriously can’t I be like patrick and just live under a rock… At least then I’d be safe and out everyone’s way.

I seriously hate my life, I get bullied so many, got the shit kicked out of me today, most of my friends hate me and the one who cares the most, I think hates me too, my life is so complicated atm, wish someone would stand with me and help put it right.

Basically, I’m lost without a friend like you, you know me, you understand me and you get me. I need you and I still believe that maybe just maybe this isn’t the end..

I feel like such crap, I feel like nothing, I feel useless and now I have people ganging up on me calling me ugly and fat and stupid… I know I’m stupid, I make stupid mistakes, I mess things up, I ruin things, I’m a failure and well the rest comes out now doesn’t it. I know I’m not perfect or anything but I’m not fake, I’m me and I’m proud of who I am okay.

well lately ive been feeling like crap, i feel like my friends hate me and they are fed up with meh… everything is going okay.. if i stopped worring and paid more attention, id have more friends, but im also so shy……. i need more confidence and shizz..